Thursday, September 29, 2011

My time will come...

I am a responsible citizen,
I oppose Child Labour.

But I will protect Children
After I eradicate poverty.

I will take care of Poor
After I combat illiteracy.

How can I battle illiteracy, When 
Women are being harassed?

The women can of course wait, cos
I am off to curb Corruption.

I am against Corruption, but
Who will rid the world of Terrorism?

I am against Governments-
They never get anything done.

I am against Protests:
They only waste my time.

I am against Gandhians,
I only follow Gandhi.

I am against my People.
But I am for the Country.

I am against Politicians.
But I won't join Politics.

I uphold Democracy.
But I will never Vote.

I don't believe in Causes.
I am my own Cause.

I raise the Tricolour, within
My indoor sanctuary.

I will lie in zombie, forever
And raise my finger at you.

I will wait to act...
Till my Time will come.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The contest for the laziest on the Planet

We Malayalis pride ourselves that we're the laziest race on the Planet.

As far as we could get away with it, we would avoid work. "Why put off till tomorrow what we can place on someone else' head today?" is our motto.

This particular trait is rubbed into us from early childhood, as we watch our elders devise methods to skip work. The whole educational and employment systems are ridden with loopholes to help us escape. In college, students discuss which is the best day to go on strike. The day with the toughest sessional exams scheduled gets the vote. Not to mention there was no valid reason to go on strike at all.

Recently I had a debate with a friend on which of us is the lazier. The contest ended in draw because both were too lazy to argue for ourselves.

In Kerala, I resigned myself to my fate as a lazy Malayali, much higher in stature to all other peoples of Earth. But Bangalore opened my eyes. Wide.

The auto-drivers in Bangalore sit at their driving seats all day if possible, as if they get paid for sitting idle. If by chance a pedestrian requests a ride, the rates per kilometre skyrocket, till the poor guy decides to walk all the way rather than have his throat cut. The autowallah continues to idle, relieved that the disturbance is gone.

The guy who 'apparently' washes cars vanishes with the car keys once every week. When he returns them, he wears a sparkling smile as if to say, 'the innards of the car are gleaming as much as my smile'. You tip him generously only to find within minutes that the car doors were not even opened that day.

The gardener and the garden are strangers. He waters the plants once in a hundred years or so, holding the water hose as if it is guillotine. The tender plants collapse under his murderous touch and never rise again. When he was called in for re-potting, the plants did not survive another day.

The part-time maid has more visitors every week than all the residents of this apartment and the next put together, and she cannot come to work when she is suffering from their visits.

One should learn punctuality (among other things) from house painters, but only in the evening. At five on the dot, the paint brushes drop from their hands, even if the window requires just two more strokes.

None of these people in the examples above, I should stress, are Malayalis. Nor have they ever been to Kerala. (In case some of you Kerala 'lovers' want to accuse them or their great-grandfathers of breathing the Kerala air sometime in their life.)

My intention, with this blog post, is to warn other Malayalis that we no longer own the pedestal of Laziness: we are not the laziest race on the Planet. Be ashamed! We have tough competition and if we aren't trying hard enough, others would snatch the trophy away from us.

The contest is on. Are you ready to oust Malayalis as the laziest species on the Planet?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Sharing part of a recent conversation with a friend. I found the thought beautiful.

Yes, I am worried too. 
They used to worry me a great deal earlier. 
And I used to do nothing but worry. 

But there is something we can do.
We can convert our concerns into action items...

I found out that when I put my worry into words like you did, 
Share it with everyone and then all of us get behind the goal,
It somehow works out.

As long as we are thinking and not giving up, things will happen.
We need to have a clear goal, believe in it and 
do everything possible towards it.
That always works for me.

When I give up, nothing can save me.
If I don't do anything and worry, nothing can save me.
If I don't have a clear goal and try to do a lot, I achieve nothing.

Sometimes my ego gets the better of me
And convinces me that my success is because of ME.
My greatness, my exceptional luck.
Then I get stuck where I was. 

When I give up that thought, things start moving.
Whenever I set goals, take action and believe in them,
It works like magic.

Maybe that is GOD...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Skating teacher

"Amme, can I watch my football CD?"
"Of course. Here it is. Chelsea Golden Goals DVD. You know, you should eat your food and be healthy if you want to learn football."
"But I already know football."

"Yes, but don't you want to be strong and healthy like these players? Don't you want to be a footballer player?"

"Oh. Then what will you be doing?"
"I will be a skating teacher."

When I posted this story in Facebook, a friend shared his own funny conversation involving his son. I would love it if you could also share your own experiences with children.
Please post a story or link here!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Week in Tweets

Do hop over to Eisley's blog where she is running this awesome series of posts called "The Indie Bound series". Heh heh, you spotted me there? Yes, I too have contributed to it, offering my strings of wisdom to unsuspecting readers. You can read it here. There are more blog posts in the pipeline, and Eisley introduces one indie author a day. Here is Eisley's tweet on the subject.

The little blue picture you see on the left is her new  Middle Grade Fantasy "Born to be a Dragon", the first of the Dragons Forever series. You absolutely should check out the book. My son and I finished reading it together and you should have seen his face when it was over. He is already asking for the next book, though he calls Deglan as 'Dlagan' and Lord Edric as Lord Eric. Book 2 promises more adventures for Deglan and Meia, and I am not quite sure who is awaiting it more eagerly - my son or I?

Meanwhile, all's been generally quite normal & quiet on the Home Front, (though 'Normal', 'Quiet' etc. are very relative things). The five-year-old's educational journey progresses minute by minute. I happened to tweet a couple of the gems that came out of his education. I thought it is easier to re-post them here rather than narrate the entire Mahabharat.

Posting tweets idea courtesy @vadakkus